Dear Joe,
I'm Cathy currently working as HRD staff in one of the Taiwanese Firms here in Cabuyao, Laguna. I'm married and 3 months pregnant.
Jim, is the kind of guy every girl would dream to have as partner in life. I know for a fact that he loves me so much and that alone makes me happy, and complete
Everybody who knew us were and are still wondering why he fell in love with me , Joe. You see, I'm not beautiful. I’m not even close to pretty. I'm so plain and nobody ever gives me a second look.
Jim and I met each other in one of the seminars I attended for self improvement. I have a very low self esteem because fo how I look like and through this seminar and with the help of Jem, I eventually came out of my shell. After the seminar we continued communicating and Joe He always had his way of making me feel good about myself.
Somewhere along those endless conversations , he fell in love with me. When he told me what his true feelings for me were, I was shocked. Joe It was the very thing I was preventing to happen. Although I wanted to have a boyfriend I did not want that guy to be him. What if I accept his proposal and fall deeply in love with him and then he realizes that what he was feeling for me was merely pity?
He knew something was holding me back so he gave me my space and the time to think . But he continued to shower me with so much love and affection . After one year, he became my boyfriend. The fear that I might lose him someday completely disappeared because he did everything to show me that he truly loves me.
Jem is very handsome , Joe . And Maricel, one of his co-employees had determinedly set her eyes
and heart on him. She made schemes to get him for herself. She even called me several times telling
me that I I making life miserable. I just laugh at all these for I was so secure and sure of Jem's love for me.
I did not tell Jem all the things Maricel was doing to me because I thought there was no need . Besides, he admired Maricel’s religiousness . I did not want him to see her differently and detest her.
Maricel really looked for a way to destroy our beautiful relationship, Joe. She told Jorrem stories about me and some guy who I knew never existed at all . He confronted me alright but he had already closed his mind for whatever explanation I would give him. He began to look for mistakes I made . He became suspicious that I was seeing somebody behind his back especially now that I became cold to him , which was a reaction brought about by the way he was treating me.
Joe, I know that deep in his heart , he still loves me so because he couldn't let me go. He's still afraid to lose me. And because of that I did not force him to give me my freedom.
Joe , Jorrem finally decided to marry me. But, the cold treatment continued. He was always telling me that he married me so that his friends won't laugh at him because his girl cheated on him. Joe, he treats me well especially in the presence of my parents. But when I react indifferently in front of other people, it would call for a fight the minute we are by ourselves.
Now that I'm pregnant I can still feel he cares for me but only for a few moments because after showing his concern , he would tell me that he's only doing that so that the baby in my womb wouldn’t be affected.
Joe, am I only dreaming when I think that he still loves me in spite of what's going on between us? I am thinking that maybe he's just embarrassed to admit that he really still loves me. Is my hunch true or am I just being wishful?
By the way, up to now he still doesn't know what Maricel did to me .I can't tell him for I don't want him to think that I just want to get even with the girl he thinks is God fearing and straight.
Joe, do I have to continue our charade or should I leave him so that we can think things over apart from each other? Joe, please help me. Tell me that there is still hope for us . I am afraid that I have already lost him and that I may never find him in my arms again. Sometimes I blame myself for being this way. Maybe he really doesn’t deserve me.
Thank you Joe for listening. I would always remain…
Sincerely yours ,
Cathy
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